Hello

So many ways to start a conversation

Where to begin…

Introductions are always weird for everyone, I think, because there’s a need to make an impression. Or I guess that’s what I have been fed about the significance of introductions—the saying goes…

The perspective by Will Rogers—stresses the nature of firsts. The moment of first meetings is the first encounter in which one deduces whether the other is reliable, sharp, lousy, relatable or whatever judgement we choose based on our own personal values. Which is to say the qualities we cherish or reject within ourselves.

Personally, I find myself to be frequently in the position of arriving late to anything and everything—events, meetings, and a whole number of important things. Which is a trait I somewhat adore about myself at this point because if I hated myself for it I’d be a much more miserable person. Possibly on time—but still miserable. Nevertheless, I really try to manage my tardiness by setting up a preposterous amount of alarms and reminders.

Considering we never get a second chance to make a first impression—it’s worth understanding what it means to impress. To impress is to leave a taste in another person’s mouth—it could be sour, sweet, bitter or tangy—depending on the tongue of the other. Most of the time, we have no idea how we rub another person the wrong or right way because that is so deeply tied to the conscious and unconscious world of the person we are impressing upon. As well as the boundaries of the world in which we meet.

For instance, when a professor arrives late to a lecture—it sends a breath of fresh air through my lungs. ALAS, MY KIND!

Immediately, I find myself to be on their side in lectures and in conversations. In the presence of professors who find themselves late to class; I no longer feel the weight of anxiety about my tardiness. Consciously, I feel safe which altogether allows me to speak up more in class, to try harder, to get creative, to show up to office hours.

The conscious safety I feel towards a tardy professor opens the portal to my unconscious insecurity towards my own tardiness.

Tardiness in western society is often seen as disrespectful and irresponsible. Which makes sense, of course, when existence is preoccupied on supply and demand. We are all workers whose main duty is to be first and foremost efficient. Deadlines, due dates, and our responsibilities should come before being a child to our parents, a neighbour to our community members or a lover to our partners. Efficacy is the standard in which western capitalism demands each of us adhere to.

Efficacy is the standard in which I have spent the last five years or so trying to meet—with much success and a fair amount of failure.

So when I see a professor show up late, or even forget to respond to my email, it warms my heart. Because I see myself in them. Witnessing those who are tardy or whimsically inefficient is witnessing their sparkle of humanity. When I don’t hear back from a professor firstly, I assume they dislike me and once I get over myself—I imagine they’re watching a really good show. Or spending time with their loved ones. Or working on their own assignment. Or going through the kind of heartbreak that renders you incapable of doing anything besides laying in bed or on the bathroom floor.

If you never get a second chance to make a first impression—conversely, you get a chance every day to meet how the world is impressing upon you. Through what endears you to people as well as annoys you. Whether or not we see triumph in a tardy person’s existence usually depends on if we feel we are climbing the same mountain.

So considering the fact that I am late in writing this blog post. It’s nice to meet y’all!

harmela